Bob McGoogle

Dumb dumb whore

What is a Marklar?

Today I received an email from a chick named Emily. This girl wanted to know....

"You always talk about Marklar, who the hell is this person or what is it? It sounds pretty stupid but thats just my opinion."

Well Emily, first of all a Marklar is my sweetie pie boyfriend. I got this name Marklar, you dumb whore, from South Park. In the episode when they get "Starvin Marvin" they take him to planet Marklar to live in peace. I thought it was cute so ever since I saw that episode Ive called my bf Mark..ta dahhh!!! Marklar. You dumb ass bitch.

Now onto you being a dumb dumb whore which you are, your opinion is that its dumb and I guess that I should call him Mark right? Well since you can suck my balls I guess Ill call my boy anything I feel like calling him you dumb dumb whore, anal slut. And before you email me again saying some shit like "Why dont you get a life and not watch so much cartoons like South Park, Family Guy, Simpsons, and Fraggle Rock, Ill have to tell you that all answers to lifes questions are in those shows. You might actually develope a real personality if you learned how to laugh. These shows can teach you that you dumb dumb whore. Furthermore Id like to explain what else a Marklar is now that youve brought it up.

A Markalr is a boy who can love his sometimes psycho girl and take her shit when shes freaking out on him. A Marklar is also a guy who even though his girl friend gained 40 to 50 extra pounds still wanted to grab her every chance he hot. Marklar also takes care of his girl by making sure that anything she needs like when she needs a personal trainer to help her lose weight he gets that for her because he loves her. When she was dealing with an addiction he helped her kick it by being a constant comfort and support. Through family crap, feeling bad about myself and even when I didnt want to have sex because seeing myself naked made me literally sick, he still loved me. Can you say that someone has loved you that much? I doubt it. Most people will never know that kind of love. My Marklar even is reading about Feminism because he wants to learn more about our history and what its been like for women throughout our lives and pasts. Does your boyfriend do that? Doubt it. My own family doesnt even care about what Im into or why, but he does. If I need it or even want it, I have it. He goes way out of his way to please little Leah with every want, and I do mean every want. He even helps me out with my Barbie and Christmas fetish. He never laughs at me or judges me, he just loves me. Thats a Marklar and I hope that everyone has one or one like him one day not mine of course! Hheheh But I hope everybody knows that kind of constant love and support like I finally now do. My whole life I wanted to have SOMEONE who cared about me, who listened to me, and who loved me for me and not what I was trying to make them see. He sees through all my shit and still loves me. No one knows that kind of love because I cant imagine God made 2 of him. I dont know what I did to deserve him or why hes stayed after all these years or how Ill ever repay him, but if you ever say anything bad about my Marklar or try to degrade some cute little name I have for him again, I will hunt you down and stick sausages down your throat and stick starving dogs up your butt! Got it you dumb dumb whore? Good.


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