2003-10-19
I'm very hung over, stupid beer. My brain hurts. I did the good sister thing and it bit me in the ass so fuck her. I tried and now she looks like the bitch so I'm glad. I should get the gift certificate back because that bitch didn't even say thanks, fuck her and fuck me for trying. Just goes to show you how lame some people are. Anywho I had a crazy night last but it was a blast. I have to relist my car because the assclown who was going to buy it has never come through so I'll sell it to someone else and hopefully this time my brother won't jinx me. And he better not get pissed off at me for ranting about his girl in MY diary because it is mine and I have every right to be pissed off at her and he KNOWS it.
I'm off to shower to and try to get rid of this hangover. I feel like puking my guts out.
2003-10-17
Stupid stupid girl. Ahh being young is wonderful. I wish I had a huge hotdog costume to wear today. That's how I feel....like a weiner. Palates class is kicking my fat ass and it's a good thing. My stomach STILL hurts from Wednesday. I hate being this BIG! Damn you fat! Go away! Stupid beer..giving me a fat gut. Mmmm beer.
2003-10-15
I'm breaking out in pimples all over and it's really really pissing me off. I also need my roots done but I really can't afford to right now. I'm steadily spiraling into a "dirtball" phase. And it is good.
2003-10-14
I had yet another one of my super surreal dreams last night. When I woke up all sweaty and freaked out, you weren't there to squeeze. I looked over at the spot where you would have been sleeping and I cried. Some days I miss you my best friend so bad it feels like I'm dying and then some days I know I made the right decision to leave. But I do know that everyday I am lonely. I feel alone all the time. I think I go out every night because I HAVE to be around people. When I stay home like I did tonight I feel this anxiousness in me to get out of here like I'm trapped and I need others to be around me to make me feel whole right now. I know it may sound stupid but I need all my friends right now and they are really helping me to get out of my shell I put myself into for 3 years. I just hate this loneliness I feel right now. I know I just need time.
2003-10-13
Yesterday was the best day of the weekend. Bertino and I went to go see Kill Bill and it was awesome. Then after the Mom and I made a kick ass dinner I went to the Oak with Bertino and Jen and Jurkass. We met some guy named Steve up there who was a really nice guy and we sat and talked after everybody left. He's going through a hard time like I am. It's just nice to talk to someone who knows what your going through. Ang did this and it got me thinking about what I want....My criteria for dating would have to be a nice guy who I am attracted to and wants to be with me as much as I want him. Yup that about sums it up.
Anypoop I'm off to get ready for work. Where's that can of botchulism again?
2003-10-13
Look, he doesn't call you. He hasn't wanted to do ANYTHING with you since you had that one night stand so why are you still waiting for him to call? He's an asshole who said a bunch of crap but never backed it up LET IT GO. FUCK HIM. Were you really attracted to him to begin with or were you just lonely? Because from what I heard you never even noticed him before that night. He's a player and you got played, just let it go. Erase his number from your phone so you aren't tempted to call his dumb ass again. Don't be pathetic. Sheesh.
2003-10-12
I went and saw School of Rock last night with Jen and Ballsack. It was pretty funny and cute to boot. Today the Mom and I are making a homemade chicken pot pie thing, should be yummers. I hope my butthole brother can fix my car's panel thing on the door, it's about to come right off. Stupid car. I'm bored, tired, lonely and I can't spell. So what's new? The bar was boring and I didn't feel like drinking this weekend, what's up with that? I'm off to the store to get the junk to make dinner. I wish I could pull myself out of this funk.
HAPPY LINK TIME!
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