| I wish I had a tv dad.2004-09-20
That would be so nice. He could come sit next to my bed and say "how's everything going in your life hon?" Someone who really cared about me. A tv dad would be great.
This is really stressful. No job, moving into a new place and no cooperation. You can't live like a kid if you want to be an adult. Memories are great but you don't need a momento for every memory. Sometimes you need to just let go and live with with you have, what really matters, the memory itself.
My dream got smashed today out of respect. I didn't want anyone upset anyone so I got plowed over by people. Left all alone to defend myself. So I compromised. Absolutely no back-up. Left all alone. Oh well.
yup still feel like poop.2004-09-02
Oh man I'm sick. This sucks monkey balls. I feel like shit. I'm on a cleaning spree at tonys house to get ready for his friend coming to town. Some guy from the band Lit. I'm not really all that familar with the band but its his friends so cool. More later.
Life takes you down all kinds of roads, even to Wichita Kansas.2004-08-31
Wow what an incredible experience. I finally got to meet one of the coolest people I've ever talked to in my life. She's been such an inspiration and friend to me. I'd never be able to repay her for the friendship and advice she's given me. I just can't believe we finally met in real life! And I knew she was pretty from her pictures but jesus she's beautiful. When she smiles the whole room lights up. It was a lot of fun. We drank, we talked, we broke some windows. It was nutty. I wish we would have had more time but she's coming here next then the fit will really hit the shan. Hehehhe.
When we were talking one night I stood outside of myself and listened to the horrible memories I was replaying for her. I watched myself tell her these things and it occured to me that everybody has these bad memories but its ok. You make the choice to get through to the other side no one else makes it for you. I've made the choice to be a good person and survive. With a friend like Ang I have a good guide to help me but I make the final decisions with my life. Having good people to guide you is the key and I have those in abundence.
We're in Wichita Kansas2004-08-29
Yup we did it. It was a super fun weekend. I'd like to share all the details but there's too many to tell. It was amazing to meet one of my best friends for the first time. It just kinda makes it blow that much more that she doesn't live in michigan. I'm really gonna miss her, charlie brown and of course the kitty hehehhe. So we're back on the road, its gonna be a long ride but I'm still having fun. Its so nice to be happy again. Look for changes soon to my webpage courtesy of Ang. I miss you already.
do you do the chasing or does he?2004-08-26
Someone today told me to marry someone who loves you more then you do them. She meant that if he devotes all his time thoughts and emotions to you and is completely devoted to you then he's a keeper. But if you have to constantly worry about who he's talking to or looking at then he's not as in love with you as you are him. Get a guy who chases you not the other way around. I thought it was very interesting. Gave me stuff to think about on this long journey to see Ang. We haven't even gotten out of Michigan yet. I can't wait to get there but now I have stuff to think about.
Heart still broken but I will go on2004-08-24
So we went to the dinner thingy and Tina was an asshole which sucked balls. But this weekend is Ang weekend so YAY!!!! I can't wait. We leave tomorrow night. I was too close to enemy territory last night. We ate at Maria's in Ferndale then hit some clubs. Needless to say I was feeling a bit uncomfortable but the food was good so oh well. Wish e didnt have to end so badly but oh well. Onto the future.
ok enough with the poop.2004-08-24
I can't believe me and Ang are finally gonna meet! I'm gonna crap my pants and not because I have no sphincter control but from excitement. Man this is gonna be nutty, like my poop.
out of sight, out of mind?2004-08-24
So the saying goes. Will I cease to exist to you soon or have I already? My heart screams for you but my mind says enough is enough. Sometimes I think you have to walk away eventhough you are in love because it has become too painful to stay. I guess if it was meant to be it will come back to me, if not then I know that I did all I could and so did he. Maybe love isn't enough. Maybe respect means more then love. I didn't get that from him. It hurts.
So for the rest of my junk, we all had a blast last night bar hoppin in plymouth. Damn hippies. We started out drinking while I was getting my hair done. Tina of course was laughing at me the whole time but it was fun. Tonight I'm playing match maker with 2 of my friends who I really think will hit it off. We shall see. Only 3 days till I leave for kansas and visit my Ang! Yay!
HAPPY LINK TIME!
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